so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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