I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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