you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
