i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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