i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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