whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
