And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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