now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
