i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
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The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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