so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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