guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad