last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.