You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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