My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize