It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
