she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I could fuck to npr.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
