We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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