bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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