I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
