why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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