I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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