Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
