im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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