she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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