i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
