WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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