So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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