no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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