SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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