I saw his package. It spoke to me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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