...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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