he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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