All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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