i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it