I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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