Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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