no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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