ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.