last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude