So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.