cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.