So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet