My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i came on her dog
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
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Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing