I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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