I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
