I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
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I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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