I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize