I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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