my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
