My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
