i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
