dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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