I think I died a long time ago.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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