a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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