Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My hand turned me down
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize