Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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